Couch Potato: November is the cruelest month for football teams - WNCN: News, Weather

Couch Potato: November is the cruelest month for football teams

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(RNN) - The lake, it is said, never gives up her dead when the skies of November turn gloomy.

A doomed ore carrier called the Edmund Fitzgerald is what Gordon Lightfoot wrote about in the famous song, not the cruelest month of football season.

But it's Week 10 in the SEC, and November is the time when your lights go out of sight or you make Whitefish Bay. And if you're not among the strong and lucky pressing on with goals intact, you're learning a dreary life lesson about settling for less.

Because that's what happens when you lose, dude.

And so, this week, instead of making predictions at the end of game summaries which compel chat room scum to compose obscene, ungrammatical screeds launched from the safety of email anonymity, we'll stick with the nautical theme and quote from the never ending saga, Pirates of the Caribbean.

Ragetti: You have to be lost to find a place that can't be found.

Mississippi State at South Carolina

12:21 ET, SEC TV

It looked like South Carolina turned the corner last week with that upright-clanging, missed Missouri field goal in double overtime. But when you're going in circles, all you do is turn corners.

You can't relax with this South Carolina team. We've seen it all before. The Gamecocks seemed back on track after stomping Arkansas, then went up to Tennessee and laid a big, old egg.

This week, it's Mississippi State at home, and that's a wonky team, too, with your Dak Prescott and Tyler Russell thing going all the time and their defense that's semi-good sometimes then gives up last-second drives to Auburn, 59 points to LSU and 22 to Kentucky. KENTUCKY!

All the signs and omens point to a Gamecock crush, but really, who knows? Is Connor Shaw well, and did he have a hurt leg or a stomach bug when he came off the bench and beat Mizzou? Will Good Jadeveon or Bad Jadeveon come to play? And what about Mike Davis and his smooshed foot?

How's a man supposed to go to Home Depot and get a haircut Saturday afternoon when this kind of game is happening on SEC TV?

Barbossa: You'd best start believing in ghost stories… You're in one.

Georgia vs. Florida

3:30 p.m. ET, Jacksonville, FL, CBS

These are a couple of beat-up ball teams trudging toward an uncertain future. Georgia may be getting super running back Todd Gurley and wide receiver Michael Bennett back this week, which is a good thing because its defense is woeful. Florida, too, has been stricken by bad injury karma, and its offense may be the only thing in the history of football worse than Georgia's defense.

This is an age-old rivalry that's always a lot of fun. These two teams don't like each other, Bob, and all that. But let's be real, here, the bloom is off the rose.

Here's what's on the line today, best case scenario:

The winner hopes to put previous misfortune behind it and use the momentum to surge to the East Division championship with the help of some unlikely upsets. Maybe get a few more hurt players back in time to wrangle an upset over whoever wins the West, end the SEC's reign of national dominance and claim a trip to the Sugar Bowl to play, oh, let's say Central Florida.

Sugar Bowl swag includes an iPad, so there's that.

Jack Sparrow: You're not facing normal pirates. More like cruel, demented, vicious pirates who can't be killed.

Auburn at Arkansas

6 p.m. ET, ESPN

Bret Bielema publicly complained about Auburn sending him wrong tapes or some such this week. This past summer at the SEC Media Days he snapped at Gus Malzahn because Malzahn said something like football coaches who don't play super-fast football wear a dress and have cooties.

If this is what passes for a budding rivalry these days, we're truly living in sorrowful times.

Arkansas gave up 104 points to Alabama and South Carolina, who look kind of, sort of, like the frontrunners to meet in the SEC Championship Game, unless Auburn beats Alabama, which seems a lot more likely than it did in the past two years or so.

Captain Jack Sparrow: Who's to say I won't live forever?

The other ones: Does Alabama State really have a chance to upset Kentucky at Lexington, and can Johnny Manziel get 1,000 yards against UTEP? Yes to both questions. Tennessee and Missouri see who can rebound from soul-crushing defeat the best.

Captain Jack Sparrow: I wish to report a mutiny. I can point names and name fingers.

Copyright 2013 Raycom News Network. All rights reserved.

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